The Night Hours

I never have difficulty falling asleep when I'm healthy and fine, mostly b/c I'm tuckered out, so within minutes of putting out the bedside lamp, I'm dead to the world. But when I'm sick, it's a different story. Mostly, it's the temperature keeping me up. I'm either too hot or too cold. I stick one toe, a full foot, two feet, an arm, both arms out from under the covers, and then suddenly, I'm way too cold. I cover myself again and suddenly I'm smothering in the heat that is emanating from my own body.

I'm usually too uncomfortable. Normally, I can sleep in pretty much any horizontal position. But, for example, last night -- first, I cradled my spare pillow, yes, pathetic) (but, to my defense, I have come a long way baby! I used to cradle my faithful bedside companion, my laptop. Not a smart idea.); second, I turn to the other side. Now I wonder if the pain I'm feeling in my side is a ruptured spleen, a herniated disc, a kidney about to fail, etc. I lie on my stomach. Bad idea. My neck is too stiff to lie on my stomach and tilt to one side. So I lie on my back. Now I wonder whether the lumps I feel are in my back or in the mattress? So I gingerly feel my back. No lumps, just that old enemy back fat, always present, ready to bring me down. I toss I turn, I toss I turn.

I'm usually too thirsty or I've drunk too much water I have to urinate. Luckily, my bathroom is a hop and step away from the bedroom. Does not matter. Still inconvenient. You see, when you're sick, you have to make sure you're well hydrated. So I drink cranberry juice, orange juice, pomegranate juice and coconut water, all matched with a glass of water. Which is great except I have to make trips to the bathroom umpteen times. I no longer worry about turning on the light. Let the cookie crumble how it may. (Oops, wrong metaphor, you're thinking about the other bodily function now, no, no, I'm talking about sprinkling holy water during mass). With all this urinating, and my burning body using up all my liquids, I find myself having to wake up over and over again for another glass of water. And the ever-present question each time. To fill from the faucet in the bathroom, ever so close, but oh so lukewarm. Or to go to the kitchen, where I can add ice, and have chilled water! Which cools me down. But the kitchen is so far away. Dilemmas.

I'm not a hypochondriac on a day-to-day basis. Meaning, I don't think I'm catching ailments most of the time. But when I'm sick, my mind goes places it shouldn't. For example, fever + headache + stiff neck (likely from the awkward sleeping poses) = BACTERIAL MENINGITIS OH MY I'M GOING TO DIE. (Incidentally, such thoughts do not facilitate sleeping, either).

Which brings me to the heading of this blog post. While I'm doing the afore-mentioned, the hours tick tock away. At first I see lights in the building across from me still on, and I reassure myself, thinking, well, it's OK if I'm having trouble falling asleep, it's still early.

Slowly those lights go off one by one.
Until there's just one. A night owl. That means it's 4am.

Then the morning rays start to filter through my light curtains (for normally I like the light coming into my relatively dark bedroom). This means it's dawn.

I finally fall asleep only to have some concerned friend/ relative call at a normal hour, say, 10am, to find out how I am doing, which is perfectly reasonable, but for the fact that I didn't actually fall asleep properly until 8 or so . . .